Dual Purpose, Dual Personalities Sporting Duality With Motorcycle Therapy & Entertainment

Contraption Attachment Disorder



Howdy Myst,                 (Edited Version Available 2020)

My Kawasaki KLR 650 sometimes gets a little jealous of my sailboat, so I promised to ride her around the Smokies this summer….we both need a break from Miami. I got Kimmie Lou off a Broward car lot a few years ago, she was a repo, only had 3,200 miles and told me her Asian Mama was a back-up singer for a big artist named Lou…..who “had a dark side”. We got to talking for a while and eventually narrowed her paternity down to Lou Reed or Lou Rawls. Now I know that KLR probably stands for something like “Kawasaki Long Range” or whatever,(seriously I don’t want to know what every one else thinks) to me she’s just Kimmie Lou Rawls/Reed.

Kimmie Lou was sporty from the start, I threw a leg over her and she sassed up her Japanese accent and said “nice nuts round-eye, wanna take me for a spin?” The car salesman had been watching me for awhile and brought out her key once I took a seat, he said “looks like you two have got aquatinted.” I got a little self conscious thinking maybe they saw me chatting away and laughing to myself (sometimes my lips do start moving, even when I’m having secret conversations). The ride was only a few blocks, when I turned back for the car lot Kimmie Lou said “who’s your friend?” “Later” I said. The salesman knew I was leaving with the bike when he brought me the key, he was a good sport about pretending I was in some position to negotiate. “They will take less” Kimmie Lou kept protesting as we went through the motions of haggling. When we started the paperwork she said “ooh big spenda, how bout get Kimmie Lou synthetic oil change?”

Fort Lauderdale is 20 miles North of where I live and it took me half the distance back to explain “my friend” to Kimmie Lou. “Ha ha ha ha – you mean I am a nice Dual Purpose Bike for nice fella with Dual Personalities?” “Something like that, yes” I said. “Yippi” she said “I get two guys to ride around with, I know what regular name is for paperwork……what you call each other?” Well, I”m Ryder” I said …..“and I’m Ridicu, nice to meet you Kimmie Lou”.. “Tee he he” laughed Kimmie Lou “you da funny one – kinda mischievous too right?” “At times” Ridicu tightened our thighs, wiggled into the saddle and swayed back and forth a handful of times in our lane for around a 1/4 mile. We all laughed till we got bored and straightened back out.

Ridicu doesn’t fit the split personality criteria quite like you would expect……he says we’re partially fused so we can easily talk to each other (most of the time). There are things each of us do without the other knowing (I have been married for about 20 years and Ridicu only caught on at the millennium). We don’t really hide things from each other, we just sometimes allow the other to figure stuff out at their own pace. When we directly ask a question, the answer is plainly given, it’s one of our rules. We don’t get into anything outrageous when the other isn’t looking, mostly it is just playful stuff we laugh about later.

HW – Honorable Wife or Horrible Woman as Ridicu likes to tease, knows we are going to blog about our trip, she just doesn’t want to be mentioned, so there will be little else said in the marital department.

To keep Ridicu happy we put his name first in the blog, if it were up to me we would be RyderRidicu since I do most of the logistical and higher functioning stuff. Ridicu pitches in – he just goofs around too much to be all that productive – mostly he makes up for things with entertainment value. For example : he has this thing where I am always stuck with 17 7/8 “Angles of Ridicu”, he calls them, I never know exactly what they are because he swaps out at least a couple every night while I am sleeping. Every morning I wake up and know he has rearranged the furniture somewhat, often I can’t quite put my finger on it until I trip over something. One of our most consistent Angles of Ridicu is we have been aloft on 2 wheels for almost 40 years and most of it has been in shorts, tee shirts and sandals. Now I know that may just seem stupid or irresponsible to most of you out there, but you really have to couple it with another Angle……16 of our past 20 years as a RN have been in the Emergency Room.

Author: ridicuryder

Cloaked & Variable Character(s) who only make sense if read from the beginning - start at the Ride Along Reader's Guide (Nov 2012) then pick up Contraption Attachment Disorder from July 2012. RidicuRyder is a fictional adventure layered over an actual trip. Our Adventurers have strange takes on things like Lisps, Motorcycles, Montreal Steak Spice, Mental Health and The End of the World (Evolving our species just sorta happens by accident). New for 2013 - opinion pieces in between trip stories.

20 thoughts on “Contraption Attachment Disorder

  1. how can a woman give birth to a motorcycle? Besides..dont they kill unwanted baby girls in Asia? im thinking maybe Kimmie Lou had some luck. anyway, shit is wicked man. keep me posted.

  2. how can a woman give birth to a motorcycle? Besides..dont they kill unwanted baby girls in Asia? im thinking maybe Kimmie Lou had some luck. anyway, shit is wicked man. keep me posted.

  3. I took your advice and decided to discover your site from the its origin.
    Now I understand!
    Later in the week I’m gonna’ make time to follow your travels, right up to date, and I’ll try and keep in touch along the way.
    Enjoy your journey!

  4. Glad I stopped in at the beginning. Sorry you lost HW along the way. Where are you and Kimmie Lou traveling these days?

    Only two personalities? Which one is Mark?

  5. Pingback: Mark Bradley, Completely Un-Legitimate Motorcycle Dude | people I almost know

  6. When I read “Ridicu pitches” near the end, I actually read in my head “Ridicu bitches” ! 🙂

    I enjoy reading of you.

  7. So my journey begins at the beginning. I’m glad to have followed directions and started here.

    • 1Jaded1,

      Don’t worry if you start to wobble a ways in 🙂 the writing is pretty scruffy. A book with grammar, far less freestyle punctuation and clearer concepts is coming soon.


      • I listened to your interview and thoroughly enjoyed the serious and goofy and the uncensored nature…sorry, moving at the pace of a snail. It still makes me scratch my head how things happen. A three week trip turned into a 12 week trip. It was cool to put a voice to the voice of this blog. Your answer to the really important questions in life cracked me up but makes sense. How do we know?

        Were you always in Florida? Not my business, just curious. You said you visited family on your journey.

        Anyway, the interview did answer questions. Take care, Mark.

        Jaded…Jadark…or even Jadork…

      • Jadork,

        Fun variations on handles today…it’s so nice having you return. This is such a rough blog…I’m not used to return visitors all that much lately. Wander around, make yourself at home.


      • Ha…thank you for playing along with the handle. Someday I may tell you my favorite term of endearment. :p.

        It is a rough blog…who cares? It is your catharsis and better than an unhealthy release. It takes strength to share. You do it in a way that is in your face with a goofy twist. My mind is still boggled that you took this journey. I always say that I’m gonna buy a plot of land off of Lake Superior. The chances of that happening are nil. Anyway, I will be poking around.

      • Superior eh?

        I really like the south side of Superior…if you cross to its northern shore and hang a right that goes around 450 miles (almost to Quebec) you’ll be in my boy – hood.

        You maybe one of the few that read the original blog (and eventually the book)…we get pretty warped out there in the swirl. Our twist gets smoothed out a little for the book. I’ve visited your direct site a few times…is it under renovation? Have you taken it somewhere else besides MK?

      • Nice! I heard your Canadian accent in the interview. 😃 I love the south side and the north side. The U.P. is so peaceful and Canada is one of my favorite places to visit. Do you ever think about moving back?

        I like your writing. It is raw. Smoother may or may not be better.

        I used to post on another blog and it closed. I contributed to Ra’s Stories That Must Not Die. Matt asked me to contribute to MK, which I do sporadically. I’d rather read. I’m not a writer and have no aspirations to be one. I jot things to keep my sanity and lost quite a bit of what I posted on the other blog. It is fine. Think it, jot it, let it go. 😃

      • I suspect I may be deported back to Canada someday…I do think of heading back at various times – more lately.

        I like your little blasts of you…jots of Jadark…Jadore of Jadork. Keep doing whatever works for you…I’m pleased you like my scruffy…it gets quite a bit weirder as you go though – fair warning. 🙂

      • I can handle weird but I’ll consider myself warned. 😉 I hope you are satisfied wherever you live. It is curious that you live in FL. The climate couldn’t be more different than in Canada. My company sent me to FL for two weeks one July…ick and gross. They were all, “we hope you didn’t park on the roof.” umm no.

        Jots in the dark…hmm. You’ll get credit if I ever do my own blog cuz that might be the tag line thing. Jadore of Jadork is a nice play on words.

  8. Pingback: Mark Bradley, Completely Un-Legitimate Motorcycle Dude | steadily skipping stones

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