RidicuRyder

Dual Purpose, Dual Personalities Sporting Duality With Motorcycle Therapy & Entertainment

RidicuRyder.org

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20120925-212011.jpg RidicuRyder has a thing for mailboxes, just remember that the Felony upgrades when you boost one and there is mail still in them. Kimmie Lou, “hey this Dragon kinda looks like you guys.”

Howdy Myst,

“Ryder thinks we are doing a post on Dragons as a primer to us riding the Dragon….just play along with the Dragon stuff.” “Yeah, what is it with you guys and Dragons anyway?” asks Kimmie Lou. “We are Dragons according to the Chinese Zodiac, we were born in 1964…..how long did you say Mistress Luscious Lasagna’s spice will keep Ryder dreamy?” Kimmie Lou thinks for a few secs “Dunno, I think about half a hour or so.” “And how come this stuff isn’t zoning me out too?” “Yours is a different color.” “Hang on! Are you going to sedate me too?” “When it seems necessary, yes.” “Oh….well, just no shaving eyebrows off or anything – got it!” “Sure, no monkey business, now how about you outline the organization.”

“We still need to line up a few volunteers for board positions and it will take some time to structure things, but RidicuRyder.org should be up and running before the end of the world. Since the Aliens already seem to have the ball rolling, we won’t be able to save the world (even though Kimmie Lou would like it). This means we must settle for a mission to:

PROMOTE THE ACCEPTANCE OF DOOM

“Are you sure we can’t just save the world?” “Kimmie Lou….we already discussed how an organization needs to have clear, concrete and achievable goals, remember?” “Oh, yeah…I forgot, should we outline our fundraising initiative?”

“Here at RidicuRyder we are penniless Morons, any meager earnings we have had over the years has been dumped into Sailboats, Bad Real Estate Deals and a handful of Pretty Cool Trips. Kimmie Lou and the Tasmanian have come up with a scheme to bridge our gap….take it away Kimmie Lou.” Well, Mistress Luscious Lasagna said we had to cast off the Devil after completing the Devil’s Triangle (land version). Our Tasmanian has graciously agreed to be auctioned off after our trip…..bearing in mind certain dispersal arrangements that he and Ridicu have worked out.”

“Basically, the Tasmanian is insisting on a typical Non-Profit set up where those in charge profit (or are at least paid handsomely). We see his point, why be unconventional?” “Tell them about the sliding scale, you know how the .org gets more.” “Yes that’s right – thanks Kimmie Lou, here at RidicuRyder we like thirds and so does the Tasmanian, our discussions around what the reserve bid should be went back and forth for a while. Was a Million too much?” “Not for a date with Demi Moore!” “Initially everyone gets a third of the funds raised…..the.org will get 1/3, Ryder will get 1/3 and then I will get 1/3. Now the reserve will be $999,999.99 (not quite a date with Demi). The funny thing is that when Ryder and I get our thirds, we walk away with $666,666.66 and after thinking about it, we agreed with the Tasmainian…..taking a penny more or less just would not seem right.

“Now tell them what happens when the bidding heats up!” “Well the cool thing is that as the bidding climbs our $666,666.66 stays fixed and the .org gets more…..unless someone bids $9,999,999.99 or above, then we go back to getting thirds (that’s 666 three times – pretty cool) “That seems a little shifty Ridicu.” “I know – right? The thing is, the Tasmanian is insisting on these terms…..our hands are tied, besides, we’re selling the Devil here – the public has to accept some double dealing.” “Okay, suppose the bid is a penny shy of 100 Million or more?” “Thirds….but we are estimating a ballpark 30 to 40 Million winning bid so any further discussion is pretty much hypothetical. “Hypothetically then, the bidding just keeps going and going – every time a 9 gets tacked on are you really gonna take thirds again?” (Ridicu walks off a ways in to the woods with the Tasmanian – they come back after a few minutes) “Okay, okay -everything after a Quadrillion goes to the .org, we will hold with $666 Trillion and the rest of the sixes.”

“Another cool thing about being born in 1964 is the debate over what generation you are a part of.” “Hey Ryder, you nodded off huh?” “Yeah I guess all this off road riding is wearing me out.” “You guys should lose some weight so I don’t get worn out!” We all laugh about how fat Ridicu and I are (but I think we have lost a little weight on the trip so far). “It’s hard to tell sometimes if we are Baby Boomers or Generation Xers – Canada and the USA have different demographic models for when the Generations shifted.” “Then, on top of everything we have lived in the US almost as long as Canada…..which makes us Canerican.” Kimmie Lou gets a pretty good chuckle out of this then says “oh yeah, that reminds me….you’re gonna have to get HW to mail your passport to Montana so you have it when we cross into British Columbia.” “Really – we’re going that far…..that supernatural?”

Author: ridicuryder

Cloaked & Variable Character(s) who only make sense if read from the beginning - start at the Ride Along Reader's Guide (Nov 2012) then pick up Contraption Attachment Disorder from July 2012. RidicuRyder is a fictional adventure layered over an actual trip. Our Adventurers have strange takes on things like Lisps, Motorcycles, Montreal Steak Spice, Mental Health and The End of the World (Evolving our species just sorta happens by accident). New for 2013 - opinion pieces in between trip stories.

3 thoughts on “RidicuRyder.org

  1. “penniless Morons” … you always say something offhand that makes me laugh, Mark! I really enjoy your writing. A tiny bit perplexed with the sums, but that’s me & maths. I’ve always been fascinated with 3 and 9 and 6. Love seeing those numbers. Especially in as many dollars!

    Thought I’d come by & say happy new year! It’s 1st January. So newwwwww 🙂

    Sincere best to you, Mark, & I hope what you wish to be, is.

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