RidicuRyder

Dual Purpose, Dual Personalities Sporting Duality With Motorcycle Therapy & Entertainment

Nature

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20121204-050418.jpg Elk Near Yellowstone’s North Gate. Kimmie Lou, “A Balance in Nature is generally maintained by Harvesting Only What You Can Eat. Any chance we can Get Meg Back in here………..I mean c’mon – this M guy………..Exploding Assholes?”

Howdy Myst,

The late afternoon ride through the Park was spectacular, except when Ridicu started kidding around with a Buffalo Who Cracked The Tasmanian’s Visor With A Head Butt. Afterwards we got to thinking maybe Nature Would Prefer We Handle It With Care And Respect. “You know, maybe Kimmie Lou has something, I felt a good vibe with Meg………..this Swapping one for the other never ends well.” I know what Ridicu means………..”Megalomaniacs Decide you are just not Suicidal Enough when you aren’t Devoted To Them – then whatever they can do to make your life hell gets Cranked Up On High Heat!” Kimmie Lou adds, “but we’re not getting rid of OMIAS Right? I mean………it’s just too funny.”

Our intent is not to endanger anyone…….at least not any more than all of you are already dangerous in your present state(s). We are not suggesting anyone try Divorcing Their Megalomaniacs, we sure as Hell can’t do it without ending the World (whoops!). And Casting – What A Fucking Nightmare! Think about it……….do you want to be Type Cast? Must we all live within a certain Cast or Mold………is that freedom? Frightening Everyone Has Limited Value, unless you are going to insist on keeping Freedom An Illusion. Perhaps it would be nice instead, if you all quieted down and got ahold of yourselves (notice how we resisted capitalizing).

We would also appreciate it if you could handle the places we have visited and the people we have encountered or referenced delicately, you tend to ruin things by Trampling A Path To Their Door. We have also seen And PERFORMED Every Dirty Trick in the book. We are Quite Willing to Revisit Chapters should anyone become a pain in the Ass………..M is willing to hand over this Round To Meg, but he is also looking forward to several of you Fucking Up. Do we have to mention our Families? Essentially The Species, Natural Beings And Supernatural Beings Are One…………Big Family. The Body Of Man needs a Scrub, some of you are Skin Cells With Accumulated Grime. The Loofah Has Arrived………..How Raw Would You Like To Be? Naturally, Surgery Will Be Required For Certain Malignancies – (Scars Add Character).

So, you may be asking…………how do we sort all this out Mr Evil Teaser, Dual – Christ / Anti Christ, Ma and Pa Issued, Megalomaniac Serenader, Lesbian trapped in a Man’s Body who is Still Baffled By Sex, Substantial Abuser, Whatever The Fuck I Feel Like Doing Toddler On A Rampage Who Eats Twin Towers For Breakfast (And Has Ravaged, Raped, Looted, Fucked Over Every Soul In Existence 17 7/8 times – c’mon…….you were almost legal)ASSHOLE???

It’s easy,

First think of all the Fucked Up Shit you and everyone else has ever done…………let’s call it your Idiots package.

Your Total Idiots Package (all of you) fits on an Island…………..Now my (RR) Idiots Package is FUCKING MONSTROUS

All of you chimps are tumbling around on Madagascar and ……………………..

WE ARE THAT DARK CONTINENT THE SUN DROPS BEHIND EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE,

when we think you are being idiots chances are we know it from experience…………listen to us / me (don’t worry you’ll fuck most of this up anyway).

OMIAS

I’m Over Polluted: An Idiots Guide To Drying Out The Silly Old Fucker – A Case Study

REST – we are old……..the stone age is like us flossing our teeth before bed. The thing about TWIW is, we get very cranky before bedtime……….especially if we feel like staying up. We are only Psychotic before our afternoon nap or if we are being put to bed early. Wars are a phenomenal waste of energy, take a break – Re Create – some of you go play in that corner and so on. The Death Struggle never ends (as long as you keep struggling).

RECUPERATION – For Now Rest and Recreate, in a little while things will get better. Healing is No Big Deal………..it happens or is stepped into Naturally, I will get into more later, for now just Avoid Common Crutches you all seem so addicted to. In particular – the kind of recuperation where words are diluted by all kinds of Assholes trying to co-opt concepts for their own gains (remember the heading above). Mostly what happens is everyone scrambles to pick up the concept(s) – then start running as fast as possible with them………..Welcome To The Shit Show………….. A decent schedule for arriving at most well thought out plans is 2020 – things will look clearer at this point……..like how I have deceived all of you – maybe (I really am half making this shit up as I go along so anything is possible…………unless I’m channeling the universe – you decide).

restitution (you can get started on this one early) but what I really need is freedom…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. Will some institutions collapse suddenly under their own weight? Yes. Others will sway slowly until they remake themselves or are dismantled CAREFULLY – too quick and Anarchy resurrects its old buddy Chaos. Freedom isn’t something I am an expert at…….it is a ways off, I’m sure several of us will recognize it when it ……evolves…….out…….of……current……frameworks. Women, particularly the younger ones, can find it faster than the rest of us.

Getting Started Somewhere

Items and practices from various religious frameworks may linger indefinitely, but Mark my words…….one by one your houses will fall. In The New Year I will Present Myself alone in Mecca and TELL ISLAM ABOUT ITSELF discussing your faith in any other fashion would make me a pussy…….Sharpen Your Swords.FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN FUNDAMENTALISM.

FIRST STROKES.

– The Dalai Lama……….this guy is a total turd tunnel. A little while ago China invades Tibet and the Lama hangs out until he figures out they don’t want any competition for their “Communist” Megalomaniac. Later he and his Buddies announce their next Dalai Lama Spotter – a boy who is promptly kidnapped by the Chinese………..wow, you guys are all so wise – nobody saw this one coming.

– The Chinese aside from kidnapping also happen to be pretty big time polluters, cranking out several millions of tons of crap the world doesn’t need alongside a few million useful tons a day means you have to cut corners in places. Welcome to vast swathes of the Chinese countryside in all its toxic splendor………..or as I like to call it Chewage. Then to ice the cake China ships these half ass products around the Globe where we can all enjoy them for a couple of months before they clog up our Land Fills.

So first of all I am Fining China One Quadrillion American Dollars (today’s trading value) that will be deposited to My Personal Account at the Bank Of America by December 21, 2012. I won’t accept any few million here or couple of billion here deposits. One Quadrillion in One Shot or I consider you Wanting. You may borrow or cajole cash out of your buddies should that be needed………I don’t give a fuck how you raise the cash. The Bank’s address is 3211 Grand Avenue in Miami, my name is Mark Anthony Bradley and my Account # 229042876882, the domestic routing # is 063100277. In case you need the International Routing Code, the bank is right between the AT&T store and the CVS pharmacy. Also, get the Fuck Out Of Tibet……….Now. Gedhum Choekyi Nyima and his Family are dead, go ahead and hang their impostors in Tiananmen Square, your puppets no longer have an audience.

So Meg’s back and we are demonstrating how to evolve your Megalomaniac………..slippery ground. Want some advice? Do what we tell you, it’s not like telling you is some great big “thrill” for us it just keeps things simple. They are not always going to be simple……..some messy diapers are gonna happen (including ours).

Here are three ways to look at it:

– We are (I am) Fucking Nuts………..we aren’t arguing, at this stage of evolution we all are…….if any substantial sanity existed in the world, things would be in a lot better shape. Also – for the record…………we really don’t have a choice in breaking for a run at evolution, maybe its our disease or maybe we have been on the sidelines watching the game and it’s time to play………..what can we say?

– The FORCES OF EVIL have taken us over………….excellent, you can all do your happy dance since God is Omnipotent and Infallible, we’ll just have to get our asses kicked

– we are everyday morons being manipulated by everyday forces…….We aren’t going to remove Entertainment from our Blog header but the blog will evolve…….we just don’t have much of it worked out……..if we did it would be paint by numbers and not evolution.

Author: ridicuryder

Cloaked & Variable Character(s) who only make sense if read from the beginning - start at the Ride Along Reader's Guide (Nov 2012) then pick up Contraption Attachment Disorder from July 2012. RidicuRyder is a fictional adventure layered over an actual trip. Our Adventurers have strange takes on things like Lisps, Motorcycles, Montreal Steak Spice, Mental Health and The End of the World (Evolving our species just sorta happens by accident). New for 2013 - opinion pieces in between trip stories.

6 thoughts on “Nature

  1. Please can you tell me where to get whatever you’re on? I like the rant about Tibet.
    BTW, my dodgy alter ego is bust draining the money from the account whose details you so graciously provided. I didn’t even need to pose as a Nigerian businessman, so thanks for taking the strain here. 😉

  2. You can be as amny silly fuckers as you like, me old china

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